Sarah’s Shore

Today is baba’s 50th birthday.

i sent him a simple message praying so that he’ll always be blessed for raising such a wonderful family. And not to forget ‘ayat bodek’ saying that although he’s already 50, he still looks young! baba suka tu.. hehe..

What can i say about my dad.. ermm. let me see..

He’s always been the cool guy around the house. Baba jarang marah anak-anak, except for the early years of parenting i guess. well, i think that’s normal, ‘darah muda’ they say. And to watch baba go mad, will make my eyes watery. takut! it means, he IS really angry that time.

Baba used to teach me how to draw and make creative things out of papers. i still remember how he taught me to draw the ‘pokok kelapa’ and i still think his way of drawing it, is the best. hehe. In England, baba had a study room of his own, in which we all used to disturb him. He distracted us by teaching us how to make a sampan out of papers.. remember the kind of papers before that were long and had these dotted line which u can tear, with holes at the sides? well, they seemed BIG when i was small, and the sampan made from those were HUGE and i used to get excited over them.. tearing more and more of daddy’s papers.
In England, baba used to send and fetch us from school. One fine day, he stopped us at the side of the road, when we got excited seeing wild dandelions ready to be blown, round and full! seriously tempting! we blew till our hearts contented and went back home..

When i was young, until around 8-9 years.. my sister and i always kiss our parents good night before going to bed. a few pecks on the cheeks and lips.. comel kan~ later on, i developed the ‘kekokness’ and stopped. i still remember till now cause i really felt that it was sweet, not many would do that nowadays.

I remember a time when i had a splinter in one of my finger and baba tried his best to take it out. From the bedroom to the kitchen and even to the bathroom, he tried without stopping till late at night.. we changed places to get enough lighting to aid the minor surgery. lol. i cried of course. The first cut is the deepest they say. haha. (takde kene-mengene)

Oh, one of the time i remembered baba got mad was when i spilled a pail of water onto the carpeted bathroom floor (in england). hehe.. supposedly my sis and i should be getting ready to go to school but instead we played taking pictures with a camera (which i believed was real but i still doubt throughout the years and finally accept that it was fake). i stepped on the edge of the pail to get on top of the sink, with hope that the picture i take will be a good one.. and then SPLASH!! i ended up going late to school.. plus the time taken for me to merajuk with daddy’s scolding.

i came across this saying or was it just a thought of someone that a father should treat his daughters nicely cause they will later learn ‘how to love’ from them. i believe it’s true. Daughters tend to evaluate how their father treats people and love the mother and later on develop the ’skills’ by themselves. That’s why usually girls will end up picking a husband who is like their father. i don’t know whether this applies to the boys too. i know there are even hadiths mentioning that a father should treat his daughters accordingly. special huh?
Today in the ward, a young male patient in his 20s was refusing the examination carried out on him by us, the students. A little commotion took place and the old father was trying to pujuk his son into cooperating. He went nicely to the son, took hold of his head gently and kissed repeatedly on his cheek saying nice words to calm him down. i was instantly touched!! where to find a father doing that?? masyaAllah, it was really the sweetest thing i saw today. Fathers seldom show their affection and tend to hide it behind their cold stone face. A little affection shown wouldn’t hurt, i bet it will bring about such a loving and joyful family.. and like clinical skills.. it can be developed.
Enough of stories for today. i can’t stop telling them when i feel like it.

i dedicate this post to u ba.. along with the song that reminds me of u.. ‘Butterflies kisses’ by Bob Carlisle.. (but exclude the Jesus thing-it should be ‘Allah’)

Lots of Love..

ur Princess.

It’s been a week already since we’ve started our new semester.. but i feel as if though it’s been a very long period to get over just the first week. With an assignment and a presentation to prepare the moment i land back in egypt.. plus the vast of knowledge and skills being stuffed in my brain each day.. and not to forget, cleaning-up-things that never ends.. (and wondering when will our home feel more ‘homey’).. it has been a long and tiring week i tell ya.. but i’m contented alright i can still smile, Alhamdulillah.

Clinical year is totally different. New place. New way of learning. i think i’m getting the hang of it. it is such an experience, going into the wards and dealing with patients. i think, i feel a little more like a doctor each day.. and i can’t explain that feeling. it’s all mixed up and i dread the big thing that title entails-Responsibility!

i nearly passed out during clinical rounds twice! the first time was the first day when we had 4 hours of lectures, continued with clinical rounds for 4 hours..(didn’t grab a lunch) and i just got back to egypt the day before. towards the end of the clinical rounds, when we were examining an anaemic patient, i didn’t feel well. i turned pale too! luckily the Dr who taught us was generous enough to buy me a drink. the second time, i was fasting.. so hypoglycaemic state got the best of me. Alhamdulillah, it was nothing though. i’ll get use to it. i just need a flat pair of shoes to help me cope. haha.. no more heels this time around.. need to get going!

Another thing i experienced was venipuncture. i’ve always wonder how to do that procedure and it’s not as easy as i think it is. After a brief explanation, we were all ask to try it out between ourselves. scary but it was hell of an experience. i stuck a needle in a friend’s arm three times but sadly, not successful at all.. and she stabbed me back FOUR times before finally manage to suck pure blood from me. Ouch! she did pierce deeply the third time and the mark is still there till now. don’t worry, i forgive u~

i’ve seen a few patients already.. and the knowledge u get from examining them is priceless. i couldn’t thank them enough. i can only pray in my heart so that Allah will bless and reward them in many ways, for Allah will never let a single simple deed go to waste..

The doctors responsible for our clinical rounds are also very very helpful and so keen in teaching us to get equipped with the skills we need to have as future doctors. i just admire people who teaches stuff out of passion and knowledge. i hope i can be like that one day.. insyaAllah.

to all my colleagues in the fourth year (and not to forget my adik-adiks too).. i wish u all the best in the days to come. though i may not be seeing u all that often, everyone is busy in their own small group nowadays, and classes are so far apart.. but my prayers will always be with u.

May Allah keep our enthusiasm alive till we graduate~ =)

still, a long way to go.. but Allah will always be with those who are patient.

have a little patience..

i love apples.

i love apple pies and fresh apple juices.

and to my eyes.. adam is the apple i love most!

Yesterday, 15th of October.. was adam’s birthday. He has turned two already, that lil big boy. i wish i could celebrate it together-gether with the whole family. maryam planned to order a set of sesame-streets-character muffins with ELMO (tapi tak jadi). adam likes elmo! especially the lala lala lala lala elmo’s song~ but he’ll be sobbing if we put on elmo’s good night song.. i bet it hurts to see his play friend going to sleep.

adam has never been a fan of his aunties. He likes ‘males’ better and is always clinging to his uncles- pronounced as ‘ang-kai’ by adam. He can’t pronounce the L at the end of words, his tongue will go flipping. lol. If u ask him to say ball, he’ll pronounce it as ‘boy’.. hehe

adam’s favourite song is ‘25 Rasul’.. whenever he gets in the car, seated nicely in the baby’s car seat, he’ll call out to his papa.. “Pa.. papa.. yaya”.. yaya stands for the word ‘mulia’ in the lyric.. ‘mereka semua adalah mulia’. If i were to sing the song to him, he will sing along too. kalau dulu hujung-hujung nama je boleh sebut, sekarang dah boleh sebut penuh sket. geram gila dengar dia sebut ‘ayub’.. eeeeiii.

adam doesn’t seem to like me that much, although i know that deep down inside he actually loves me.. Sometimes, he runs away from me or hides his face with his hands (and screams). Sometimes, he wouldn’t let me eat the things he’s eating. He will even take it back out of my mouth. Oh, i just love the way he loves me.. hehe.. just makes me love him MORE.

adam is expecting a baby brother, alif, in a few months.

adam, the first man on earth.

alif, the first letter.

how sweet is that??

He still drinks body milk though. when he’s asked whether he wants milk-bottle or body? he’ll say “dy” (for body).. comel~ He’s not that fond of bottled milk although the Dr already prescribed a milk for ‘picky babies’. He is picky. and i was too.. mama baba said that i used to drink the most expensive milk-soya milk, cause i couldn’t take any other.. (serba-salah rasa menyusahkan mak bapak dari kecik lagi)

i couldn’t wait for my family to grow much bigger. abang aiman and kak izura are not planning for any babies just yet cause they still work in that architectural firm in singapore.. i wish to have a baby niece from them~ =)

adam, auntie aya miss you so much.

mama, do kiss and hug him for me.

xoxo

i was browsing through islamtoday and an article caught my interest..

*****

Tolerance is a beautiful word in every language and according to every culture. On a personal level, the word is often used to convey the idea of pardoning someone who does something wrong to you, transgresses against you, or differs with you in an inappropriate manner. According to this understanding, it is a great moral value. Its exercise is a moral victory for the spirit of goodness and decency over the spirit of evil that a person might be impelled to give in to.

Tolerance is the basis for the conduct that should govern people’s dealings with one another. A person who persistently rejects tolerance is a person who insists upon causing harm, to himself as well as to others.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) showed tolerance not only towards non-Muslims but also towards the hypocrites whose hypocrisy was blatant and manifest, and whose enmity for Islam was clear. They were an enemy from within the Muslim community. Yet, the Prophet (peace be upon him) pardoned Abû Salûl, one of the leaders of the hypocrites, numerous times. He even visited him when he fell ill. When abû Salûl died, the Prophet (peace be upon him) went down to his grave and dressed him in his own shirt. This was the man who openly abused the Prophet (peace be upon him) by scandalizing his family.

When `Umar saw the Prophet’s conduct, he said: “Are you going to pray his funeral prayer for this man when he did all those things?”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “O `Umar, I was given a choice and have chosen. (Allah) says: ‘Seek forgiveness for them or refrain from doing so. If you beseech their forgiveness seventy times, Allah will never forgive them.’ Yet, if I knew that if I were to do so more than seventy times that he would be forgiven, then I would do so.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Though permission for the Prophet (peace be upon him) to offer prayers for these known hypocrites was later repealed by the verse: “And never (O Muhammad) pray for one of them who dies, nor stand by his grave.” [Sûrah al-Tawbah: 84] – the principle of tolerance embodied in his conduct remains.

Once a man came upon the Prophet (peace be upon him) with his sword raised, ready to strike. He sneered: “Who can stop me from killing you now, Muhammad?” Then the sword fell from his hand.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) picked up the sword, and said: “And now, who can stop me?” However, he did not harm the man. Instead, he then took the man to his Companions and had him swear a covenant neither to fight against the Prophet nor join with those who fight against him. The clemency and tolerance exhibited by the Prophet (peace be upon him) won the man’s heart.

If you want to know the true value of tolerance and clemency, think about all the wrongs that you have committed towards others. Think about how desperately you need Allah to pardon you.

Allah says: “Let them forgive and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 22]

This verse was revealed on the occasion where Abû Bakr swore not to provide for Mustah b. Athâthah due to Mustah’s involvement in slandering the Prophet’s family.

Muslim scholars and preachers need to promote this great Islamic principle. Tolerance needs to be promoted and put into practice by all members of society, by people in all walks of life. It needs to be inculcated in those who govern and those who are governed. It needs to be addressed in sermons, in the classroom, and in public lectures. Muslim scholars and preachers, in their conduct, should be living examples of tolerance. They need to inculcate this noble trait in those who listen to them.

We need to speak about tolerance with those who share our views and interests as well as with those who disagree with us and criticize us. We need to show tolerance to them.

Each of us needs to learn how to show some clemency to his or her self. Some people are so distraught by the errors that they have made in the past that they carry the burden of their mistakes and never let go of it. They need to learn to let that burden go and put their past mistakes behind them. Likewise, they need to do the same for others. Learn to give, in charity, some of your dignity to those who wrong you. You will find that your heart will grow for it. You will feel happier. You will sigh with relief and not be so stricken by what they say.

*****

while i was having dinner with ona earlier this evening, we talked about a lot of things. since the start of this sem, we seldom get to spend time like we usually do and it is during dinner we get to catch up with each other.. (macam couple la plak kitorang ni… huhu) and somehow i dug about my stories back at school.

There was a time once when i was in form 2 and i was still new at school. i was getting ready for photography sessions for the English Society and i stood by at the toilet, glancing now and then towards the place where the photos were going to be taken. i was alone when suddenly a couple of female seniors came nearby. and suddenly…

senior A : “kenapa ek, ada banat tu tulis surat kat banin tingkatan 4? kasi biodata la.. apa la..”

senior B : “aah ek. dia tak tahu MALU (putting stress on the word) ke??!?”

and i was like…. What??!?!? (in my heart)

of course la sarah terasa, cause i was the only one in front of the toilet and they were talking exceptionally loud (definitely not a back-talking kinda thing) and with the expression they put on.. they made me feel like dirt.

and the thing is.. IT WASN’T ME!!

i knew about a letter found underneath a senior’s desk, ‘konon’nye written by me, lengkap dengan biodata palsu sarah. i even confronted the teacher telling that it wasn’t me who wrote it but somehow some chose to spread the words even though they don’t know how far the truth is.

i was heart broken, to bits.. really. i put up a really nice face during the photography session which i put much effort in doing so. but upon reaching my classroom, i broke down in tears in the arms of my best friends, dayah n yana.. (oh, and thanks to the one who gave me tissues).

until now, i never forgot. though i tried my best to forgive.. i never did forget. i hope i could though.

i feel bad i can’t have this nice thoughts of her or to be in good terms with her. she never did want to be nice with me since the beginning too. i guess she just hate me since i stepped in school. i don’t know.

if only she said ’sorry’ or at least asked about the truth. i would’ve long forget about it.

To tolerate what others did towards u is never easy. especially when they broke ur heart in pieces, in ways u never though they would.

To tolerate with people who were never ’sekepala’ with u is tough too.

but if we learn the art of blending in, flow between the creeks and cracks but never truly lose the essence of urself.. just like the water, even as cool as the dew drops.. how great will that be.

learn to tolerate, adapt.. but stick to ur principles. u’ll be able to stay happy.

i’m still learning to have tolerance towards others though i may seem as the ‘lembik’ one, u don’t wanna mess with me. haha. i’m not all angelic.

**i forgive u but pardon me if i couldn’t forget..**